Yeah, you know.
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Rachel" journal:
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I'm feeling so nostalg, I'm feeling so nostalg.|
I can't believe my college experience is done. FOREVER. I hate change and a ton of my friends are leaving or are already gone. I am probably leaving in a month. Graduation day went wonderfully.....my fam was there, the weather was great, the food was amazing, and I stayed up until 5 am and laughed with many of my best friends here. But I'm not ready for it to be over. I wish I could know I will have my dream job and family in the future, and then this in-between stage wouldn't be so scary. I just hate not knowing what the future holds. I mean, in a way, it's cool bc I can do whatever I want. But for a girl who hates change as much as I do, the fear and sadness are kind of taking the front seat right now because the reality of the change is so fresh. I'm also really worried about keeping in touch with people. I will definitely make a huge effort, but it really does take interest on both sides, and some people can't even make an effort when they live across campus. Maybe those people aren't lasting friends, which has to be the case with some people I guess. I just feel like college really is where I met my lifelong friends and I hope I do stay in touch with everyone. I can't imagine my life without these people. Ok, well I better stop before I cry again, so bottom line is: I'll be here for at least a month so hang out wiht me! And give me your contact info. And keep in touch!
so much to do, so little time!|
I can't wait to be done with classes! But I don't want to leave U of M!
So basically there a million things I need to do before I go, so I'm making a list on here. If you want to partake with me, call me or leave a comment. Or come to my house and stalk me. Whatever works.
Starting with this weekend....
Thursday-either bar or movie night
Friday--Dicks and Janes concert to see the lovely kat bockli, then a tin foil party at the zoo, and possibly another party in between
Sunday-either bar or movie night, depending on Thursday
Bars I want to attend (for the first time or again)
Ann Arbor Brewing Company
Connor's on a Tuesday
that bar connected to Good Night Gracie's
um.....other bars I haven't been to.....
Places I want to eat
more to come....
and when it gets warm I want to wander around downtown on main street and picnic in the arb.
so everyone come with me to at least one!
Current Location: Hofbo, baby!
Current Mood: jubilant
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Big Apple Bagel employee
2. banquet server
3. Avenue salesperson
4. Media Play worker......wow, I need a real job.
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Father of the Bride
2. 50 First Dates
3. Forrest Gump
4. Wedding Singer
Four places you have lived:
2. Ann Arbor
3. um....the Lion?
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Grey's Anat
3. American Idol
4. Friends, even though it's only repeats
Four places you have been on vacation:
4. East Coast
Four websites I visit daily:
1. umich.edu baby!
4. um....umich mail?
Four of my favorite foods:
1. steak, esp from Outback.
Four places I would rather be right now:
4. eating dinner, bc I'm hungry. at least I only have to wait an hour for that, unlike the other 3
Four people I am tagging that I think will respond.....
1. anyone who would've responded were already tagged.
2. but I'll try anyway
3. Er ber
Four things I always carry with me:
1. cell phone
3. camera (usually)
Wow, this is hard.|
I haven't updated this thing in forever, but I am just so full of emotion right now that I need some kind of outlet. My grandpa passed away this weekend. He was the first one of my grandparents to leave us, and though I've been anticipating it for years, the reality is just so difficult to take that I feel like I'll never get over it. I guess people should never completely be over the death of someone they loved so dearly, but at this point I feel like the spontaneous bursts of tears, the feeling of overwhelming sadness, and the lack of desire to do anything but mourn, will never subside. I'm not angry that he died. He was 93 and lived a long, happy, healthy life until only week before his death. But that doesn't make it much easier, and I miss him so much it physically hurts. I knew he had to go sometime, but I want him back. I think the viewing and the memorial service helped bring closure, but I just feel this horrible ache in my heart that won't go away. I wish I could just be at home with my family for a month to heal. I know it's probably better for me to jump back into normal life here, but I just want to be with my family because they are going through the same thing. I feel so alone here. And it's not because no one cares because people called, Lisa's family offered huge condolences, and Kelly was here to support me right when I found out, but it's just not the same as being with my parents, brother, and grandma. I feel almost self centered by feeling so hopeless and alone because my grandma has to adjust to living alone after being with my grandpa for over 62 years. She still has us to visit and call, but she has to basically restart her life, whereas I can come back here and be with friends, go to classes, go out on the weekends, and continue living as before. I know this just happened and it's going to take time to heal, but I just feel so awful and I don't know how to make myself feel better at all. I guess I need to just throw myself into all the makeup work I have, spend time with my friends, and try to recover a little at a time. But that's easier said than done, and I'm going to need a lot of help.
Current Mood: sad
so basically I just did one of these and I have no time but I think they're fun and you can tell a lot about ppl by reading them. I actually read all of my friends' surveys when they do them. So read mine!
1. initials: RNL
2. name someone with the same birthday as you: some kid in elementary school had my b-day, and a nurse once told me we had the same b-day before my appointment.
3. where was your last kiss? hmm, I think at Kelly's friend's house. regardless, it's been too long!
4. for or against same sex marriage? I'm kind of neutral I guess
5. are you homophobic? no
6. are you bisexual? no
7. do you believe in God? yes
8. how many US states have you been to? 37 or 38
9. how many of the US states have you lived in? 1
10. have you ever lived outside the US? no
11. name something you like physically about yourself: my dimples
12. name something non physical you like about yourself: I like my sense of humor, I think it's unique
13. what is the current rumor travelling around about someone? yeah, I heard that kelly janisch cut her hair.
14. what is your dream car? Silver Sebring convertible. (Although I do adore the Dust)
15. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Italy
16. have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone? yeah ;)
17. how many concerts have you gone to? not many, but Journey is coming up!
18. do you download music? not right now, I have no download system thingy
19. how many illegal things have you done? a few
20. where would you want to go on a first date? hmm I liked lauren's amusement park idea, that's what I always put on those online quizzes
22. has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? not in a romantic sense :(
23. ever been kissed under fireworks? yeah :)
24. Do you like president Bush? yeah, to an extent
25. have you ever bungee jumped? no
26. have you ever white-water rafted? yeah, in Europe. It was amazing, but I kept trying to hide in the middle of the boat bc I was scared of falling out.
27. have you ever crashed a car? I've hit 3 parked cars! (but I didn't crash into them doing like 80)
28. has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you? yeah......I think I should give up on guys my age and get a sugar daddy ;)
29. have you met a real redneck? probably
30. are you interested in anyone right now? always.
31. what song are you listening to right now? Christmas music, it keeps me going through all this stress
32. what is your current favorite song? They kinda go in waves.....right now I'll say U2's the sweetest thing
33. what was the last movie you watched? The Notebook
34. Who was the last person that told you they loved you? my mom
35. where was the last place you went besides your house? a meeting at the union
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property? no
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? my brother
39. whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes
40. what really turns you on? when a guy sucks on my fingers........yeah I'm a weirdo, but I love it
41. what do you usually order from starbucks? a venti pumpkin spice latte! (when theyre in season)
42. what is one of your sexual fantasies? definitely the stacks in the grad....or under the tower on elbel....or in the arb......basically I need to get moving bc I graduate soon!
44. say something or 2 totally random things about youself: I like Asian babies and snowmen.
45. do you have an i-pod? no
46. has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? no
47. do you still watch kiddy movies or tv show? yes! Boohbah, anyone?
48. do you have braces? used to
49. are you comfortable with your height? no, I hate being tall
51. when do you know its love? when you see someone every day and still get butterflies in your stomach
52. do you speak any other languages besides English? some German
53. what kind of alcohol do you enjoy while out? the better question would be, what kind of alc DON'T I enjoy while out
54. what magazines do you read? Cosmo, and ok, occasionally US Weekly
55. have you ever ridden in a limo? yeah!
56. has anyone you were close with passed away? a friend in high school....saddest day of my life
57. Whats ur favorite holiday? Christmas
58. whats something that really annoys you? I share a lot of kelly's---hypocritical ppl, ppl who walk/drive in your way, injustice in general, and smoking
59. whats something you really like? laughing maniacally
60. do you like Michael Jackson? back in the day
61. can you dance? I used to be able to
62. have you ever surfed? no, I don't really like open bodies of water
63. do you know how to pump gas? I'd better!
64. do you drive? yeah, I tool around in the Dust, tearing up the streets of Ann Arbor.
65. whats the latest you have ever stayed up? all night, then going to sleep late the next night
66. have you ever thought you were honestly going to die? yeah
67. were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? no, I went there calmly once though
68. have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? yeah......hence the word "dare"
Ok back to work!
Current Mood: tired
I have so much to do but oh well..........|
1* First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Cousino
2* Last word you said: um....I don't remember
3* Last person you hugged: Lisa
3* Last song you sang: a Christmas song
4* Last person you saw: Kelly
5* Last thing you laughed at: Elf
6* Last time you said I dont remember: see number 2
7* Last time you cried: when I watched the Notebook last night with aimee d
9* What color socks are you wearing: none
10* What's under your bed: a disaster area probably
11* What time did you wake up today: 1:30!
12* Current taste: I ate an oatmeal cookie earlier
13* Current hair: wadded in a ball on my head
15* Current annoyance: that I've been cleaning all day and still am not done, nor have I done any work
16* Current longing: to cuddle
17* Current desktop background:a Christmas cottage in the snow......yes, I'm excited about it already!
18* Current worry: that I won't get all my stuff done this week
19* Current hate: guys
20* Current favorite article of clothing: my brown velvet shrug
21* Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: eyes, definitely eyes
22* Last CD that you listened to: Dashboard
23* Favorite place to be: home, bc I love being with my fam, and home is always comforting
24* Least favorite place: english 305 lecture
25* Time you wake up in the morning: it depends
26* If you could play an instrument, what would you play:violin or piano, although I used to play flute
27* Favorite color: purple and teal
28* Do you believe in an afterlife: yeah
29* How tall are you: like 5'8''
30* Current favorite word/saying: spoulmate....like a soulmate, only better
31* Favorite book: I have a few
32* Favorite season: I like them all
33* One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Rachel Gregory
35* Where do you want to go for university?: U of M? If I go to grad school, somewhere in Boston
36* What is your career going to be like: hopefully enjoyable and able to make a decent amount of money
37* How many kids do you want: 3.....one being an AB
*HAVE YOU EVER...*
39* Said "I love you" and meant it: yeah, but that person probably had no idea I meant it
40* Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish: yeah my fish were pretty wild!
41* Been to New York: yes
42* Been to Florida: yeah, and hopefully again for bowltrip
43* Been to California: yeah
44* Been to Hawaii: no
45* Been to Mexico: yeah
46* Been to China: no
48* Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: yeah
52* Do you have a crush on someone: haha, who don't I have a crush on?
53* What book are you reading now?: ones for class
54* Worst feeling in the world: unrequited love
55* What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning? I hate morning!
56* How many rings before you answer: usually a lot bc I can't find my phone
57* Future daughter's name: Ella
58* Future son's name: Owen
59* Do you sleep with a stuffed animal:yeah, Gingi from Shrek and Bluebeary the bear.
60* If you could have any job you wanted: wedding planner
61* Wish I were here: I wish it were Christmas Eve at my gma's, bc that's my favorite day of the year
62* College plans: graduate (soon! :( ) and then maybe go to grad school
63* Piercings: ears and belly button
64* Do you do drugs: no
65* Do you drink: no way! :P
66* Do you smoke : gross, no
67* What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use:it varies
68* What are you most scared of: never finding "the One"
69* What clothes do you sleep in: whatever I fall asleep in
70* Who is the last person that called you: my mom
71* Where do you want to get married: in a beautiful church full of the people I love
72* If you could change anything about yourself what would that be: the fact that I worry way too much
73* Who do you really hate: YOU!
74* Been In Love: yes
75* Are you timely or always late: late
76* Do you have a job: no, but I need one bc I'm broke as a joke
77* Do you like being around people: yep!
78* Best feeling in the world: laughing, and kissing someone you really care about
79* Are you for world peace: duh
80* Are you a health freak: no, tacs are my life
81* Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: no not at all, although I do like it when a guy has a crazed sense of humor
82* Do you want someone you can't have?: story of my life
83* Are you lonely right now: no
84* Ever afraid you'll never get married:see number 68
85* Do you want to get married: see number 84
86* Do you want kids? yeah! especially AB's
*IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...*
87* Cried: yeah
88* Bought Something: tacs
89* Gotten Sick: I think I might be getting sick again
90* Sang: in my room
91* Said I Love You: yeah
92* Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: always
93* Met Someone: no
94* Moved On: from a messy room
95* Talked To Someone: yeah
96* Had A Serious Talk: yep
97* Missed Someone: every day!
98* Hugged Someone: yeah, Lisa and I embraced after choosing Christmas desktop background haha
99* Yelled at Someone: no
100* Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: daydreamed maybe
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Rachel's dancing was shit-ty.|
That's how my dad summed up my band-o-rama dancing and I think it's quite accurate. I don't embarrass easily, and I was mortified during that dance. I just like blacked out and stood there looking around, grinning wildy and mouthing, "I have no idea what I'm doing." I guess I shouldn't be too embarrassed, however, bc it was so bad that it's actually kind of funny. As long as I get better by Indiana, where I have to do it for thw whole stadium, I'll be fine.
I think I'm getting sick again. My chest is all congested and my throat hurts. I've been sick like 4 times already this semester, I don't understand it.
I'm going to post this in here and send out an email, so if you want to go to either, let me know:
We're going to some sort of haunted attraction on Sunday, October 30. I'm not sure what it will be bc there aren't many huanted places cloase by, but we'll find something that isn't too far. Let me know if you're interested so we can figure out rides and stuff.
Secondly, does anyone want to go on spring break? We have to book next week (wiht just a downpayment, not the whole thing) and we need more people. We're going to either Jamaica or Punta Cana (Dominican Republic) and either will be fun. I really want to have a fun spring break bc thius is my last chance, so you should all come.
Now I'm off to clean my hell hole of a room and do homework all day long. I am so far behind. I need another break! At least this weekend was fun. Thursday we went to the bar, friday to a bar and then to suzanne's party, and yesterday we watched Sleepy Hollow. Good times were had. I guess having fun for 3 days makes it pretty fair that I have to work all day today, so I'm going to go do that.
Current Mood: sick
Go to Google.com and type in "[Your name] needs" and then post the 10 funniest results.
~Rachel needs to have blush that is very bright and colorful
~Rachel needs help when she enters Manhattan's meat-packing district to help
three transvestite hookers find out who murdered one of their friends
~Rachel needs guidance and normal supervision
~Rachel needs time to chill out.She does this by driving around listening to music
~Rachel needs to type the first letter of the word.
~Rachel needs an escort for a charity ball so the gang vies to find her Prince
~Rachel needs a bit of fuelling up in the evenings.
~Rachel needs help with a question on "Value Laddering".
~Rachel needs to uncover every bit of information to get to
the root of the problem
~Rachel needs to stop kidding herself, give up music and keep posing provocatively
in those glossy mags
Current Mood: amused
She's such a hoagie.|
Last night was incredibly fun. We had beer pong at the Hofbo, and most of my housemates were wasted and flailing about. I also like being able to walk upstairs and fall into bed rather than hiking ten miles home. We definitely need to have more Hofbo affairs. The only bad thing about hosting, however, is the clean-up, which we have to do when ppl get back from class. I also have to get my senior audit for english today. I'm so glad fall break is almost here! All that stands between me and 4 days of freedom is the football game, which will be fun, but we better win! I have so much stuff to do over break it probably won't even be that relaxing, though. I think I'm going to go home Sunday so I can see my fam and bond with meg. I haven't seen meg in a decade and I miss her so much! I also want to try and see Ericka if she has any free time. And I have to buy a Halloween costume. And read like 739857398745 pages.
Well, I'm off to eat something. I want tacs, but no one's around. Aunt Be (sp?) is on TV. She's crazed.
Current Mood: hungry
I can never think of a subject.|
So I should be reading like a fiend right now bc I have 2 papers to write by wednesday on crap I have yet to read, but I needed a break after failing an exam today. whoo!
I feel so out of sorts lately. There are some specific things I could attribute the negativity to, but I feel like in general something is just off. I feel like I don't even really know people, like at any second someone who I thought I was really close to could do something I would never expect them to do. I guess I don't feel safe. I feel like my relationships with people could change in an instant. Maybe I just worry too much....or maybe it's good that I am leary people's intentions because I've been hurt so many times before and by worrying I will be prepared....
Ugh, I'm just so stressed and confused about everything. I hate being in a funk like this. (I do like using the word funk, however). I just want it to be fall break, so I can relax mentally and physically.
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: my loud ass neighbors
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